A few months ago I took an amazing course called Understanding Men, offered by PAX. This class literally changed my life and transformed my relationship with my husband (You’re welcome, Brian). I will be writing a blog about some of the biggest takeaways, but I wanted to shed light on one particular area of interest for this blog post.
Some of us women have WAY too much masculine energy.
Sure, you might wear make-up and stilettos, but that doesn’t prevent you from acting like a man. Here is what I mean.
I was reminded of this concept while reading the book WomanCode by Alisa Vitti. She explains the following in her book.
Masculine energy includes:
- Tenaciously pursuing what you want
- Deciding when/where/how a project grows
- Focusing on the end result, less on process
- Focusing on one thing at a time
- Relying on only yourself and your individual achievements
- Setting boundaries around emotions in order to accomplish goals
- Relating through camaraderie, entertainment, and problem solving
Feminine energy includes:
- Magnetically attracting what you want
- Holding the space for projects to develop at their natural pace
- Enjoying the process of creation independent of the end result
- Seeing the big picture; multitasking on many aspects of life
- Working with others; effortlessly creating community
- Connecting to emotional and physical life as a catalyst for change and development
- Relating to others by listening, sharing, and nurturing
Signs of Excess Masculine Energy in Women:
- Feeling significant disconnection from your emotions and sensations
- Locating a sense of self-worth outside of yourself – based on material success in the world and the opinions of others
- Finding it difficult to give and receive nurturing and intimacy- including pleasure during sex
- Having fewer verbal skills for building deep relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners
- Being unable to fully get projects up the way you envision them
Does any of this sound like you? Let’s take at daily scenarios from the book WomanCode and see which resonates the most with you.
Morning= You stick to your schedule like clockwork
Mid-day = Focus on your to-do list. You push yourself and others to finish every task.
Social engagements= You don’t like to share what’s going on and internalize your problems. You rely on your own judgement about what’s best for you
Meals= You eat what’s in front of you or forget to eat
Exercise = You select your workout based on your fitness goals and push through no matter what
Time with romantic partner = You want to talk about what you’ve accomplished
Winding down for the day = You organize and create your to-do list for tomorrow
Morning = You check in with yourself to see how you’re feeling and get an intuitive sense of what you need to do to work at your best today
Mid-day= You reflect on the big picture and trust that everything with come together
Social engagements = You feel comfortable sharing freely about how you’re feeling and are open to hearing supportive input from others
Meals = You plan your day ahead of time and bring food with you
Exercise = You choose your workout based on how you’re feeling and only do what your body is capable of
Time with romantic partner = You want to talk about how you’re feeling and how others around you are doing
Winding down = You look for opportunities to connect with those around you and choose soothing activities such as reading or taking a bath
SO! How did you score? If you have more in common with the masculine energy scenario, you’re not alone. As women we CAN do it all and push ourselves, but the question is SHOULD we? We need to make sure we have a balance between both our masculine and feminine energy characteristics to make sure we don’t overdo it. It’s great to be powerful, but it’s also great to let others contribute to you! Take some deep breaths and explore your inner queen.